I have borrowed Caspar Heinemann's Artist Talk from first year as I felt there was something about it that resonated with the way I have been thinking about Art this academic year. The notes that I took are not at all extensive, but I do remember sitting there feeling like I "got" some of the things this artist was talking about. Looking back at these notes it seems to me that on the day I must have been making more mental notes than physical ones.
Notes taken on Wednesday 4th October 2017:
Kari Edwards The emphasis on production Valueless Outside of the framework of feeling like as artists we're required to make art Lisa Robertson Queer poetics Pragmatic Magic is combining physical things to create something that we in our materialistic work consider to be non-physical Standing in line for death
I think that afternoon in October 2017 was a pivotal moment in my develpment as an artist without me even realising it. I often find myself revisiting that moment in my head and evaluating the concepts that Caspar shared with us. Sometimes I can't be certain if the thoughts I have accurately represent the things that Caspar spoke of or if I have manufactured them in my own mind and just convinced myself that this is what the artist meant. Either way, I would not have been able to generate these thoughts if I had not attended this talk, so I will attribute them (possibly in part) to Caspar.
Here are some points from the mental conversations I have had with myself ever since that talk, right up to the present day:
I don't particularly care much for the visual work Caspar showed us but I am intrigued by their poetry - even though (and perhaps especially because) at times it is hard to synthesise interpretation from
I myself write poetry and I find it fascinating that rather than trying to deliver a straight up academic conference-style presentation explaining their work and their motivations, they almost performed their artist self - slipping in and out of readings of their poetry without making a clear distinction where they began and ended
I myself don't particularly like long drawn out explanations about my art, or anyone's art for that matter. Especially in academic settings and essays - I think it's unecessary, it feels detached and in a way minimises and corrupts the emotions I felt making the art. Sometimes it makes me not even like the art anymore, and that is something that is very important to me - to like my own art
Caspar talked about non-productivity. I'm not sure I quite understood (and I'm almost certain I wasn't listening properly) but it seems they were hinting that non-productivity shouldn't be considered a bad thing. That it isn't necessarily a nothingness - an absence of productivity. I think they said they sometimes go through periods of not producing any work and that isn't something to be regretted
I am like that - I can go a great length of time not producing anything (art-wise) and it is something I do tend to get quite down about, and yet I won't find the drive to do anything about it. I think that, especially as I am in the education system and I am at uni claiming to want to learn about art, not producing or producing work in very small volumes is seen as a problem. I can undestand why but increasingly I am starting to think that the reason behind the non-productivity is more important than the physical lack of work and needs to be adressed and analysed
WHY am I not producing work? I think my teachers would do better to concern themselves with that, rather than constantly throwing ideas at me as if ideas are what I lack. That is not the case
Do i cease to be/am i still allowed to call myself an artist in those periods of time when I am not making anything? Do I need to be seen to be making work to be an artist?
Outside the context of needing to produce work to achieve certain grades, should I force myself to make work, even when I am not "feeling it", simply for the sake of appearing to be doing something?
The work I do begin to make is often left unfinished. Is this work valueless because it is not finished? Perhaps it is a subconscious self-sabotaging
Comments